Hokioh!
by Joechoeisback
Summary: Khoi Ho was a average ugly asian, until I rearranged his name to Hokioh!, now he has hilarious adventures as weird people try to steal his millenium braces!
1. Enter the Cuong

Ho-ki-Oh  
  
Episode 1: Enter the Cuong  
  
First of all... some explanation... this story is based on people in my life... One day... I realized that my friend Khoi had a name, when rearranged... spelled Ho-ki-oh... so... here it is... the greatest masterpiece which has literally taken me an year to make several episodes of...  
  
Joseph is me... a sort of nerdy asian dude. ::quietly sobs:: Cuong is kinda short and likes to keep his shoes white Khoi... well... he likes to quote the simpsons... Chris is in track and is fast... I'll explaing more of the charachters later... enjoy!!! I don't own the simpsons or Yu gi oh! ... stupid...  
  
Joseph: Oh man! I lost again!!  
  
Khoi: Yeah, because you suck.  
  
Chris: But don't you work for a pimp who has a game shop?  
  
Khoi: ::grabs Chris:: Who told you that?!!!  
  
Chris: ::shrugs:: I don't know.  
  
Joseph: Hey, we should go there after school.  
  
Cuong is in the corner reading a book.  
  
Cuong: Hmm. a game shop. I wonder if it has the card I'm searching for.  
  
At the game shop.  
  
Pimp: HO!! Where in the hell were you?!  
  
Khoi: Umm. Mr. Pimp, my friends want to see the really rare card you have.  
  
Pimp: What?! What rare card?!! What you talking about?!  
  
Khoi: Just show them.  
  
Pimp: All right, here it is.  
  
Joseph: Doesn't look that great.  
  
Pimp: It's in the box, dumbass. ::opens the box::  
  
Chris: Whoa.  
  
Joseph: Whoa.  
  
Pimp: This is only one of three Blue Haired White Buttocks in the game Butt Monsters.  
  
Joseph: Don't you mean duel.?  
  
Pimp: NO!! IT'S BUTT MONSTERS FOO!  
  
Cuong walks in with a briefcase.  
  
Pimp: Can I interest you in some ho's or some cards?  
  
Cuong: I wouldn't be surprised if you can't?  
  
Pimp: What you talkin' 'bout? I have the best hoes in the business.  
  
Cuong: I was talking about cards, stupid. ::notices the blue haired white buttock::  
  
Cuong runs over.  
  
Cuong: Can it be? The blue haired white buttock in a place like this?  
  
Pimp: What the hell? ::puts the card back in the box::  
  
Cuong: Listen, you weird looking guy. I'll give you all of these for that card. ::opens the briefcase revealing lots of cards::  
  
Pimp: Okay.  
  
Khoi: NO!! YOU CAN'T!! Didn't you tell me that your friend gave you that card!  
  
Pimp: So, what?  
  
Cuong: Fine, maybe you'll be interested in selling. Name your price.  
  
Pimp: Ten-thousand dollars.  
  
Khoi: NO!!  
  
Pimp: Mind yo own business foo!!!  
  
Cuong: You know what just forget it. You guys are sick.  
  
Cuong leaves.  
  
Pimp: LOOK WHAT YOU DID FOO!!!  
  
In Cuong's limo.  
  
Cuong: Okay, we'll challenge them to a duel for that rare card.  
  
Driver: But, they'll sell it.  
  
Cuong: I need that money for white shoe paint!!!  
  
Later on.  
  
Khoi: ::is cleaning the store::  
  
The telephone rings.  
  
Khoi: Hello?  
  
Cuong: Hello Khoi, I think you should come down here. Your pimp is not feeling well. Come pick him up.  
  
Khoi: You could keep him. I don't want him.  
  
Cuong: Umm. I have candy!  
  
Khoi: I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!!!  
  
Later on, at that place.  
  
Khoi: What happened?  
  
Cuong: Me and him had a duel, each putting up our.  
  
Khoi: Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Where's the candy!!??  
  
Cuong: But.  
  
Khoi: Just shut up!! AND TELL ME WHERE THE CANDY IS!!  
  
Pimp: Ugh, I don't know what happened. I was winning, but then he distracted me with that strange dance of his. ::starts laughing:: I can't get it out of my head!!!  
  
Khoi: Umm. okay.  
  
Pimp: I'm going to the hospital! Don't think about touching my deck!!!  
  
Khoi: Okay.  
  
The pimp leaves.  
  
Khoi: Okay!! Let's duel!! Hold on!! ::runs to the bathroom::  
  
Cuong hears the noises of a flushing toilet and Khoi laughing.  
  
Khoi: OKAY! NOW IT'S TIME TO DUEL!!!  
  
Later on at the dueling arena.  
  
Cuong: Okay, we each start with 2000 life points.  
  
Khoi: Hee hee hee.  
  
Cuong: STOP LAUGHING AT THAT SQUIRREL!!!  
  
Cuong: Let's duel!! And let's scream out everything we do!!!  
  
Khoi: OKAY!!  
  
Cuong: FOR MY FIRST MOVE!!! I PLAY HITOILETSEAT GIANT!!!  
  
Hitoiletseat Giant  
  
1200/900  
A giant toilet seat with  
massive arms that can crush butts.  
  
Khoi: Ooh, that card's so sexy. BUT I'LL PLAY CELTIC BUTT!!!  
  
Celtic Butt  
  
1400/900  
A butt that learned how to weild a sword.  
  
Cuong: OH! NO!!  
  
Khoi: Celtic Butt!!! ATTACK!!!  
  
Cuong: 1800  
  
Khoi: 2000  
  
Cuong: Ugh, your braces are shiny, but they're no match for my retainers!! I PLAY BATTLE BUTT!!!  
  
Battle Butt  
  
1700/1000  
A butt that does battle.  
  
Khoi: OH NO!!! THAT'S EVEN SEXIER THAN MY MONSTER!!! (Joe note: Khoi is turned on by anything, even monkeys)  
  
Cuong: Umm. okay. BATTLE BUTT!!! ATTACK!!!  
  
Khoi: 1700  
  
Cuong: 1800  
  
Khoi: Ugh, I'll have to play this!!! I'll play Gay Guy the Fierce Buttock!!! THEN I'LL FUSE IT WITH CURSE OF BUTTOCK!!! IT FORMS GAY GUY THE BUTTOCK CHAMPION!!!  
  
Cuong: That must be your favorite card.  
  
Gay guy the Buttock Champion  
  
2600/2300  
Khoi's role model.  
  
Khoi: Go!! ATTACK!!!  
  
Cuong: 900  
  
Khoi: 1700  
  
Cuong: Ha! I've been having fun, but playtime is over!!!  
  
Khoi: Is it? Is it really? AND WHERE IS MY CANDY?!!  
  
Cuong: I'll play!!! The Blue Haired White Buttock!!!  
  
Blue Haired White Buttock  
  
3000/2500  
Is prettier than Khoi's face.  
  
Khoi: WHA!!! BUT I SAW YOU RIP IT!!!  
  
Cuong: I did? Oh, yeah, I did. ::rips it right now::  
  
Khoi: Uhh.  
  
Cuong: Attack!!!  
  
Cuong: 900  
  
Khoi: 1300  
  
Khoi: OH NO!! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!! IT'S EVEN SEXIER THAN ME!!!  
  
Cuong: ::shudders::  
  
Khoi: HEY!! LOTS OF PEOPLE THINK THAT!!! Michael Jackson, Richard Simmons, and Mr. T gave my face a 10 out of 1000!!  
  
Suddenly, Joseph comes.  
  
Joseph: What? MONSTERS? REAL MONSTERS!!!  
  
Cuong: What? I'm not a monster!!  
  
Joseph: Oh!!! Then, what the hell is that??!! ::points to Khoi::  
  
Khoi: Okay. I'll play this card in defense mode.  
  
Cuong: I'll play my second Blue Haired!!!  
  
(Joe note: This is when I realized my life is stupid)  
  
Cuong: ATTACK WITH WHITE FART!!!  
  
(Joe note: Yup, totally stupid)  
  
Khoi: Darn.  
  
Cuong: There are only four Blue haired's in the world and three of them are in my deck. How are you going to beat me?  
  
Khoi: Hee hee hee.  
  
Cuong: DAMN IT!!! I TOLD YOU TO STOP LOOKING AT THAT SQUIRREL!!!  
  
Khoi: Okay, I'll play Plungers of Flushing Water!!! It stops your monsters from attacking for three turns.  
  
Cuong: Ugh, is that it?  
  
Khoi: No!! NOW I'LL PLAY SUMMON BUTT!!!!  
  
Summon Butt  
  
2500/1200  
A butt that attacks with lightning.  
Yeah.  
  
Khoi: Then, I'll combine it with the HORNY UNICORN!!!! IT RAISES MY ATTACK POINTS TO 3200!!! SUMMON BUTT!!! HORNY LIGHNING!!!!  
  
Cuong: I'll activate my trap!!! NEGATE HORNINESS!!!  
  
Khoi: OH!!! NO!!! MY ATTACK CAN'T PENETRATE!!!  
  
Cuong: That's right!!!! You're as limp as a rag doll!!! NOW I'LL PLAY THE JUDGE BUTT!!!  
  
Judge Butt  
  
2200/1400  
With a plunger between it's buttocks, it attacks.  
  
Cuong: Then, I'll play!!! REVERSE HORNINESS!!!! IT DROPS YOUR ATTACK TO 1800!!! JUDGE BUTT!!! JUDGEMENT PLUNGER ATTACK!!!  
  
Cuong: 900  
  
Khoi: 900  
  
Cuong: It seems that we're even.  
  
Khoi: NOOO!!!! I CAN'T LOSE TO YOU!!!  
  
Cuong: Why?  
  
Khoi: Because I'm jealous that I'm not as short as Yugi or you.  
  
Cuong: Huh?  
  
Khoi: In the show, Yugi is so short that his face is right up to Tea's boobs!!! YOU KNOW HOW GOOD THAT MUST FEEL!!! AND WHEN HE'S NOT IN THE MILLENIUM PUZZLE FORM!!! HE CAN PROBABLY LOOK UP HER SKIRT!!! CURSE MY HUGE, SEXY BODY!!!(Joe note: Yes, Khoi is that horny. Yes it is very scary)  
  
Cuong: You're sick.  
  
Khoi: Okay, back to the duel. I'LL PLAY MY STRONGEST MONSTER!!! THE DARK BEAUTICIAN!!!  
  
Dark Beautician  
  
2500/2100  
The ultimate beautician in terms of make-up and plastic surgery.  
  
Khoi: Dark Beautician!!! DARK BOOTY ATTACK!!!  
  
Cuong: 500  
  
Khoi:900  
  
Cuong: Ha! Do you think you'll actually beat me? I'LL PLAY MY THIRD BLUE HAIRED WHITE BUTTOCK!!! WHITE FART ATTACK!!!!  
  
Khoi: 400  
  
Cuong: 500  
  
Cuong: It's over for you Khoi. On my next turn, all three of my blue hairs will be free to attack, it's all over for you!!! And did I mention. IT'S ALL OVER FOR YOU!!!  
  
Khoi: Wait!!! There's still a way I can win. ::tries to remember, but can only picture the squirrel, oh, wait, his brain is starting to work!::  
  
Flashback.  
  
Pimp: There is only one unstoppable ass in butt monsters. Exodiass. However, no one has been able to do it. A feat to this day that has never been accomplished. NOW GET BACK TO WORK HO!!!  
  
In the present.  
  
Khoi: ::shudders::  
  
Cuong: Draw your last pathetic card, so we can end this Khoi.  
  
Khoi: My pimp's deck has no pathetic cards Cuong. ::draws a card:: BUT IT DOES CONTAIN THE UNSTOPPABLE EXODIASS!!!  
  
Ancient Ass of the Deep Toilet  
  
1200/900  
A very ancient ass who lives in a deep toilet.  
  
Khoi: Huh? Oh! I put the wrong card down. But now I play THE UNSTOPPABLE EXODIASS!!!!  
  
Exodiass the Fucked Up One  
  
Automatic win.  
  
Yay.  
  
Cuong: Exodiass, it's impossible. No one's ever been able to summon him!  
  
Khoi: Exodiass!!! DETERIORATE!!!  
  
Cuong: O  
  
Khoi: 400  
  
Cuong: How could I lose?  
  
Leprachaun: It's impossible our master never loses!!!  
  
Khoi: If you want to see why, then OPEN YOUR ASS!!! ::Puts his hand toward Cuong::  
  
Nothing happens.  
  
Khoi: Oh, yeah. I don't have magical powers. yet.  
  
At the hospital, the pimp wakes up.  
  
Pimp: Khoi did it. HE TOUCHED MY DAMN DECK!!!  
  
The End. or is it?  
  
(Joe note: My life is very sad)  
  
No Khoi's, Cuong's, or leprachauns were hurt in this story. No offense to any of the characters in the story. The deal me and Khoi made to give him a scene with a naked Tea and a naked Mai in a hot tub, was taken back at the last minute.  
  
Extremely fine print.  
  
All hate mail goes to Brick@wall.com 


	2. THE SMACK IS THROWN!

Ho-Ki-Oh!  
  
Episode 2: The Smack is Thrown!  
  
Okay, some more explanation. This story was originally made to make fun of my friends. but they liked it. so after writing over 70 pages of funny stuff, I decided to post it on Fanfiction. hehehe. So. umm. yeah.  
  
A new character is introduced named Cory. He's a guy at my school who always wears a hat, and loves to play Yugioh, so he was perfect for the job of Pegasus! Also, the guy named Chris has billions of sweaters and always wears one. you'll see what I mean. hehehehe  
  
At Butt Kingdom.  
  
Someguy: Sir, our uncontested champion Cuong has been defeated by someone named Khoi.  
  
Cory: Khoi?  
  
Some guy: The gay guy.  
  
Cory: OH!! KHOI!!  
  
A week later at the game and ho shop.  
  
Pimp: Damn it!! Ho!! Ya touched my damn deck!!! DIDN'T YA!!!  
  
Khoi: Why do you have to call me ho? It's so demeaning.  
  
Pimp: SHUT UP HO!!  
  
Khoi: okay, master.  
  
Pimp: Why'd ya have to defeat Cuong? I was goin' to bust him up the next time, foo!! Ya jacked up my plans, ho!!  
  
Khoi: I'm sorry.  
  
Suddenly, Joseph comes.  
  
Joseph: YO!! HOMEES!!! What happ'nin'?  
  
Khoi: Umm. Why are you talking like that?  
  
Joseph: Oh, it be nothin' ho!  
  
Khoi: Huh?  
  
Joseph: Man! Don't be hatin' the playa'!!  
  
Khoi: Oookay. No more trips to the glue factory for you.  
  
Joseph: Man! I need some weed! Yo!!  
  
Chris: Joseph is trying to be cool.  
  
Joseph: What the hell boy!? Ya betta' recognize! Ya heard me.  
  
Khoi: Of, course we heard you!  
  
Pimp: Who the hell is this? Damn it Ho!!! Get your damn boyfriend off my property!! He be scaring away my business!!! Ya heard me!  
  
Joseph: Oh! You don't be wanting none of this!!!  
  
Khoi: Of course, he doesn't want any of that!! ::points to Joe::  
  
A package mysteriously appears.  
  
Everyone: Hey, look, a letter!!  
  
Pimp: It be a glove and some stars.  
  
Joseph: This is obviously a sign of some sort of eeevvvillll.  
  
Chris: Why don't I get better lines?  
  
Khoi: Hey, look, a videotape. I hope it's porn. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.  
  
(Joe note: Ugh.)  
  
They're watching the videotape.  
  
Cory: Hello, Khoi.  
  
Khoi: DAMN IT!! THIS ISN'T PORN!!! ::turns off the VCR:: It's just some nerdy looking guy.  
  
The T.V. mysteriously turns back on.  
  
Cory: Umm. Let me start again. Hello, Khoi. I am Cory Yee.  
  
Khoi: Hee hee hee. This must be the new Simpsons episode.  
  
Cory: Umm. are you even watching?  
  
Khoi: Yup, the new Simpsons episode.  
  
Cory: No. I'm Cory.  
  
Pimp: Damn!! He has a big head!!  
  
Cory: Damn it!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!! I'll just send you all to the shadow realm!!!  
  
Everyone except Khoi and Cory are frozen.  
  
Khoi: AHH!!! HE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!!! CURSE MY BIG SEXY BODY!!!  
  
Cory: Damn it!! Listen to me!! As you know I am the creator of Butt monsters.  
  
Khoi: Hee hee. Butt. Hee hee.  
  
Cory: .umm.. Any ways, I have reliable information that you possess the millenium braces.  
  
Khoi: The who in the what now?  
  
Cory: Don't play dumb with me!!  
  
Khoi: Hee hee. Dump. Hee hee.  
  
Cory: I said dumb!!! Give me those braces!!! ::grabs Khoi's teeth::  
  
Khoi: ::with cory's hands in his mouth:: Cool, this new digital picture really brings the movie to life!  
  
Cory: ::gives up:: Now, I shall go into a very unnecessary explanation of the millenium items. There are seven millenium items, they are.  
  
Khoi: This is the boring part, where's the fast forward button.  
  
Cory: DAMN IT!! THIS ISN'T A VIDEOTAPE!!!  
  
Khoi: ::gasp:: Then that means.  
  
Cory: yes, I am.  
  
Khoi: a DVD.  
  
Cory: NOOOO!!!! ::sigh:: The millenium items are, the millenium hat ::points to his hat::, the millenium braces ::points to Khoi's braces::, the millenium sweater, the millenium toilet seat, the millenium chocolate, the millenium glasses, and the millenium pants.  
  
Khoi: . the who in the what now?  
  
Cory: Whoever obtains all the millenium items will have absolute power. absolute power. Now, where did you get your braces?  
  
Khoi: Ancient Egypt. No, just kidding, I just woke up one day and found that I had braces. I figured it was the act of teenagers. Damn teenagers. I hate them so much.  
  
Joseph: Yeah. teenagers. right.  
  
Cory: ahem.  
  
Joseph: Oh, right! ::goes back to being frozen::  
  
Khoi: Umm. so what do you want?  
  
Cory: I want your millenium braces.  
  
Khoi: Now?  
  
Cory: Yes! NOW!!  
  
Khoi: Well, I can't take them off.  
  
Cory: DAMN IT!!! I'LL JUST TAKE THE SOUL OF YOUR PIMP!!! UNTIL YOU GIVE ME THOSE BRACES!!!  
  
Khoi: Go ahead. I don't care.  
  
Cory: Uhh. Then, I'll take the soul of. JOSEPH!!!  
  
Khoi: So what?  
  
Cory: Who do you care about?  
  
Khoi: How 'bout that Tifa? She's so hot. ::starts drooling::  
  
Cory: .right. I'll take the soul of. CHRIS!!!  
  
Khoi: Who's Chris?  
  
Cory points to Chris.  
  
Khoi: Who the hell is that?  
  
Cory: Ugh!!! Just come to doo doo kingdom!!! So I can win your millenium braces!!!  
  
Khoi: What do I get?  
  
Cory: YOU!! You get nothing!!! I'm going to take the soul of your pet hamster!!!  
  
Khoi: No!!! Not Mr. Mittens!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT!!!  
  
Cory: Uhh. no.  
  
Khoi: THEN I MUST!! FOR MY GRANDPA!!! I MEAN MY PIMP!!! I MEAN MY HAMSTER!!! YEAH!!!  
  
Cory: Okay, bye.  
  
Khoi: See ya.  
  
Joseph: Hi, everybody!!  
  
Khoi: No, time for you!!! ::throws Joseph into a trash can and runs off to make his deck::  
  
Khoi: Mr. PIMP!!!! I NEED SOME CARDS!!!  
  
Pimp: You have money? Foo?  
  
Khoi: Umm. After I win at Doo doo kingdom. I will pay you half the prize money.  
  
Pimp: And what else? I'm a very lonely man. ::winks at Khoi::  
  
Khoi: Ugh!  
  
Pimp: NO!!! Arrange a date for me with someone. good-looking. not fat. HO!!  
  
Suddenly.  
  
Chris: Hmm. the millenium braces. So that's where they were. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Ha !! ha!!  
  
Everyone's staring at Chris.  
  
Chris: Umm. look a monkey!!  
  
Khoi: WHERE? GET IT OFF ME!!  
  
Joseph: Umm. Khoi. there is no monkey.  
  
Somewhere. else.  
  
Chris: I shall be the only one to possess the millenium braces! I will be unstoppable!!! No one will be able to stop me!!!  
  
Little kid: Umm. Mister. Can you get off the swings?  
  
Chris: You dare to talk to your master!!! I'll make you a boiling pile of flesh!! You impotent monkey!!!  
  
Little kid: ::starts to cry:: MOMMY!!!  
  
A woman comes and starts hitting Chris with her purse.  
  
Mom: YOU SICK PERVERTED CHILD MOLESTOR!!  
  
Chris: ::screams like a girl and runs away::  
  
Mom: COME BACK HERE!!!  
  
Chris: ::turns back into the regular Chris:: What happened?  
  
Mom: I'm going to beat you harder than a drum!!  
  
Chris: AHH!!! RUN AWAY!!!  
  
Back at Mr. Pimp's shop.  
  
Khoi: Ooh, this card is so hot.  
  
Joseph: You know Khoi, you have to use duel monster cards in the tournament. Butt monster cards will be illegal.  
  
Khoi: Oh, we got permission to use duel monsters in this story?  
  
Joseph: Umm. yeah, permission. Right.  
  
Khoi: THEN I'LL ATTACK WITH LARVAE MOTH!!  
  
Joseph: Umm. how about La Jinn?  
  
Khoi: Don't question my ways!!! Or I'll take a trip to the glue factory!! And you don't get to come!!  
  
Pimp: What glue factory? What ya talkin' 'bout?  
  
A week later on the boat.  
  
Sercurity Guard: Name?  
  
Khoi: Khoi Ho!  
  
Sercurity Guard: Excuse me?  
  
Khoi: Khoi Ho.  
  
Sercurity Guard: ::starts laughing:: Okay, Mr. Ho!! I get the joke! I say Khoi Ho!!! But it sounds like Cool I'm a Ho!!! Who sent you? Bob?  
  
Khoi: Right. ::backs away slowly into the boat::  
  
In the boat.  
  
Khoi: Wow! These are a whole lot of duelists.  
  
Dooist: What? We're dooists. This is a butt monsters competition.  
  
Khoi: What? But my friend told me that this was a duel monsters competition.  
  
Joseph: And you actually listened! Idiot!! And now!! You don't have your deck to doo with.  
  
Khoi: But why Joseph? Why?  
  
Joseph: Because I am also in this competition!!  
  
Khoi: ::gasps:: That means you cheated!! Good thing I accidentally brought my Butt monsters deck instead of my duel deck!  
  
Joseph: What!!?? ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU BROUGHT THE WRONG DECK WHICH IS REALLY THE RIGHT ONE, BUT WOULD BE THE WRONG DECK IF THIS WAS A DUEL MONSTERS TOURNAMENT?!!!  
  
Khoi: .the who in the what now?  
  
Joseph: Never mind. ::walks away::  
  
Suddenly the regional champion comes.  
  
Flyguy: Ahh. You must be Khoi.  
  
Khoi: Who are you?  
  
Flyguy: I am Flyguy, the regional champ.  
  
Khoi: Right.  
  
Flyguy: So, you're the one who beat Cuong.  
  
Khoi: Who's Cuong?  
  
Flyguy: ::changes the subject:: Look at all these losers, making last minute trades. Only the serious dooists bring their deck fully prepared.  
  
Khoi: You're very ugly.  
  
Flyguy: Umm. what does that have to do with anything?  
  
Khoi: .the who in the what now?  
  
Flyguy: Anyways, there will be all new rules on the island.  
  
Khoi: Are there any hot girls on the island?  
  
Flyguy: Umm. no.  
  
Khoi: Oh. you want to trade cards?  
  
Flyguy: Didn't you listen to anything I just said?!!  
  
Khoi: Man. you're mean.  
  
Flyguy: DAMN IT!!! YOU'RE THE STUPIDEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET!!!!  
  
Khoi: ::starts crying:: YOU'RE SO MEAN!! ::runs away::  
  
(Joe note: This is getting boring and stupid. I think I'm just going to fit as many cuss words in this next line as possible.)  
  
Khoi: Nobody fucking wants to trade me shit. Damn fuckin' shit. I have some fuckin' good shit. Why won't anybody fuckin' trade damn shit with me?  
  
(Joe note: This hallmark moment brought to you by bad parenting.)  
  
Shady Figure: Hey, man. You want to trade? I got some good stuff.  
  
Khoi: Hmm. let me see your cards.  
  
Shady Figure: I'll trade you the Dark Bootician Girl for your Ancient Ass.  
  
Khoi: ::starts drooling:: that card's so hot. I'll definitely trade my ass for it.  
  
Shady Figure: Done. By the way. Have you heard about the new rules?  
  
Khoi: No.  
  
Shady Figure: Word has it that the loser of a duel has to give up their rarest card.  
  
Khoi: Aww.. I'm going to lose all my cards. Dang. ::looks at the Dark Bootician Girl:: Umm. I have to go to the bathroom. ::runs away::  
  
In the corner of the boat.  
  
Chris: Go ahead, Khoi. Run. Run as fast as you can, but you can't outrun me. I will have your millenium braces and then I'll send your soul to the shadow realm. It is there where you will be tortured into oblivion. No one can survive. All will fall before me. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
An old lady throws a boot at Chris.  
  
Old lady: Shut up!!! Ya crazy sicko!!!  
  
Chris: YOU DARE DISRESPECT ME!? I WILL SEND YOUR SOUL TO THE SHADOW REALM!!! IT IS THERE WHERE YOU WILL BE TORTURED BY TELETUBBIES AND BE FORCED TO FOREVER WATCH RICHARD SIMMONS DO STRETCHES!!  
  
Old Lady: Right. and now I'm goin' to kick your ass!!  
  
Chris: I am not scared of you!! ::runs away::  
  
At Butt kingdom.  
  
Someguy: Mr. Cory, sir. Why are you going through all of this? Why not just challenge Khoi one on one?  
  
Cory: Because I'm going to kill two crackheads with one bullet. I'm using this competition to lure out the three god cards.  
  
Someguy: You mean?  
  
Cory: Yes, I will obtain all of them.  
  
Someguy: Stupid, lazy bastard. Mixing the two stories together.  
  
Cory: What did you say?!  
  
Someguy: Umm. didn't you hide the god cards?  
  
Cory: Oh, yeah. Well, then, this tournament is going to lure out the millenium items!!!!  
  
Back with Khoi.  
  
Khoi: Hmm. I wonder what the new rules will be?  
  
Flyguy: ::pops out of nowhere:: I'll tell you.  
  
Khoi: umm. okay.  
  
Flyguy: But first let me see Exodiass!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Khoi: You're not going to throw them into the ocean. are you?  
  
Flyguy: No... Of course not.. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Khoi: Oh, then, okay.  
  
Flyguy: Ah.. So these are the cards used to summon Exodiass. Say goodbye to Exodiass!!!! ::makes a throwing motion::  
  
Khoi: Can you wait until I hand you the cards?  
  
Flyguy: Oh. Sorry. ::gets the cards from Khoi:: Ah. so these are the cards used to summon Exodiass. For a long time, I've been trying to. Ah!! Screw it!!! ::throws the cards into the ocean::  
  
Khoi: NOOOO!!! ::the cards are falling down really slowly like feathers:: NOOOOO!!! ::still falling:: NOOOOOO!!!! ::gone:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  
  
Flyguy: Ha!!  
  
Khoi: That's it!!! ::turns on Flyguy::  
  
Flyguy: Ha! What can you do about it?!! Exodiass is gone!!  
  
Ten minutes later.  
  
Flyguy: HELP ME!!! I CAN'T SWIM!!!  
  
Khoi: And don't come back until you get all the cards back!!!  
  
Flyguy: But I can't swim!!!! ::goes under and doesn't come back up::  
  
Khoi: .ohh. Let me never speak of this again.  
  
Joseph: You're stupid.  
  
Khoi: HURRY!!! JOSEPH!!! JUMP IN THERE AND SAVE MY CARDS!!!  
  
Joseph: Nah. ::walks away::  
  
Khoi: Somebody save me!!!! I don't care how you do it!!! Just save me!!!  
  
At doo doo kingdom.  
  
Cory: I welcome you all!!!! Good bye!!!  
  
Khoi: Okay.  
  
Khoi is wandering around in the forest.  
  
Khoi: I got to find someone to duel.  
  
There is some rustling in the bushes.  
  
Khoi: ::in a girly voice:: Ahhh!!! Who's there?! Ahhhh!!! Curse my big sexy body!!!  
  
A person comes out of the bushes.  
  
?: I want to doo.  
  
Khoi: Do me!! Ahh!!!  
  
?: NO!! I want to doo you in doo monsters.  
  
Khoi: Ahhh!!!!  
  
?: Dope!!! Let's just duel!!!  
  
Khoi: Wait a minute? You're. you're.  
  
?: Yes, but now it's time to doo!!!  
  
To be continued. Who is the mysterious dooist? Is Joseph really ga. I mean evil? And is Chris evil? And will Chris ever get better lines?!! Tune in for the next gay episode of Ho-ki-oh!!  
  
Joe note: My life is sad. And for reading this, your life is sad too. The deal me and Khoi had to give him a nude shower scene with someone was immediately closed, when he found out that it was going to be Hollywood Hulk Hogan. 


End file.
